skip to nav skip to content
REMEMBER!! THIS WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME!!! :0) lol
10 – HOROSCOPES
Why should I be subjected to reading other peoples daily horoscopes when checking my time line? I’m not going to consort with the moon and the stars before interacting with a person. Your chances of having a factual daily reading is about as accurate as a fortune cookie slip. It’s full of crap and you’ll forget it anyway.
#9 – PRAYERS
God doesn’t have Facebook! Must you post your daily prayers to the Lord on FB everyday? Isn’t that something that you should do in private or in the pulpit?
#8 – PHOTO SHOOTS FOR PROFILE PICS
The truth of the matter is that not everyone is photogenic. While there many not be a level of excellence when it comes to picking a perfect profile picture, some people go out of there way just to impress others. Come on son… why would you go out of your way with a professional photo shoot just so that they have a noteworthy profile picture up on Facebook. Um hello, how lame are you?
#7 – BOOTY BEGGERS
Thanks to social networking people can now just beg for some booty over the Internet. Who needs the phone when you can just let the world know how desperate you really are by posting it over and over and over again? We get it, you’re lonely and on a hunt for some ass. I swear, if I could invent a virtual STD I would. Your fingers would swell up with crab baby hatch-lings and ooze out of your cuticles in a painful gooey mess that you couldn’t conceal. I bet that would get booty beggers to quit while they’re ahead.
#6 – FAKE ASS BIRTHDAY WISHES
Call me callous but every effin day it’s somebody’s damn birthday. Someone out there needs to be recognized that this is his/her special day by a bunch of people that they call friends. But let’s be honest here, most of those same people probably wouldn’t have remembered if it weren’t for the FB calendar. That’s right… I’m calling out all you phonies that wish people a Happy Birthday but wouldn’t give a damn if it weren’t for FB pointing it out. I don’t have the time or the energy to stay on top of birthday wishes. It’s not a part of my daily regimen and even if I see it… so what. That doesn’t mean that I have to go out of my way to be number 253 on your Wall wishing you the same damn thing. If you haven’t noticed, after a while the birthday girl or boy will change their status to address everyone in one shot…thank you.
#5 – SPY’S
If we’re not friends, it’s for a reason. Just because we’ve got friends in common doesn’t give you the right to start sharing my business with someone who’s not a friend. That’s when we’ve got a problem and you’ve crossed the line. In my eyes that’s instant grounds to be dismissed from my list. Just stay in your lane and everything will remain kosher.
#4 – STUPID GAME APPLICATIONS
I don’t want to play Cityville, Farmville, Cafe World, Mafia Wars, Sorority Life, or any other stupid game that keeps you losers addicted to the computer. If I’m not winning real money… save your requests and pointless status updates that clog up my time line.
#3 – STRANGER FRIEND REQUESTS
If I don’t know you, then why do you insist on requesting me? This isn’t MySpace and I’m not trying to up my friend count. If I really don’t know you, and we don’t have business in common, then why friend request me? Just because you think I’m incredibly sexy doesn’t mean that I’m trying to be your friend. You’d know that if you knew me so your request is denied!
#2 – BEEF
I can’t even being to tell you how many times people catch beef over what’s been said or exposed on Facebook. I think it has something to do with actually being able to see things with your own two eyes that sets people off. Facebook causes break-ups like a m**t**r f**ker. As the saying goes, “Don’t start none. Won’t be none”. The worst time to post a status update is when you’re in the heat of the moment. Those comments usually come back to haunt you, keep the drama going, or start new problems. I say just go all old school with it… pick up the effin phone or take it to the parking lot.
#1 – BLIND ITEMS
What’s the purpose of posting blind items in your status time line? If you’ve got the balls to put your feelings out there for your entire friend list to read, then at least have the balls to call out the person by name. Otherwise you’re just playing a game of hide and go seek with your comments and looking for attention for all the wrong reasons. You want everyone to know, but at the same time you don’t. So if that’s the case then just keep your emotional blind item comments to yourself. If you’re not going to say how you really feel about the person you’re beefin about, then don’t post comments about them in your status. That’s a move for suckas and jive turkeys!
I Hope you enjoyed todays Blog!! :0)